Monday, December 19, 2011


Justin Bieber: My Mom Never Let Me Believe in Santa Claus!
By Billy Johnson, Jr. | Stop The Presses! – 14 hours ago
Justin Bieber
"Bah humbug!
"With Christmas just one week away, Justin Bieber isn't planning to head to bed early Dec. 24 to await the arrival of Santa Claus. In fact, the teen pop phenom says he's never believed in the man in the big red suit!
"My mom always told me there wasn't a Santa,' Bieber says in a new interview with AOL Music. 'This was her logic: She thought if I grew up knowing about Santa then finding out he wasn't real, that it would be like she was lying to me. And then when she told me about God, I maybe wouldn't believe her'."
Oh gosh!  What a miserable mother!  
As I write this there are 4,111 comments on this article.  This is the vilest desecration of Christmas that has come under my gaze for quite some time.  The idiocy of the world is totally unfathomable.  The Philippine Trench has been plumbed.  The invincible ignorance of the denizens that populate the planet defies all human methods of metering.  We have gone from Christmas to "holidays", from Thanksgiving to "turkey day" and it defies the imagination where we are headed with Mothers' Day and Fathers' Day what with the disappearance of SEX in favor of "gender" I'm sure that the concept of Mother and Father will degenerate down to "lessor" and "lessee."
I was about 8 years old when I discovered that Santa Claus is a fraud.  I told my parents and they swore me to "caution" although not to secrecy in relation to my younger siblings [4].  You are not shaking your head and saying, "Yeah, he's crazy because he didn't believe in Santa.  Now look at him, writing on the Internet in anonymity, hiding his mental perversity from the world all the while foisting his acrimony on it."  Let me tell you, there's more.  I have two children and I forbade them to fall for the "Santa claptrap."  In my warped concept of the world, I was not going to allow my boys to give credit to a phantasmagorical, omniscient en-slaver of elves, leprechauns, ansisit, etc when I was someone's else's "elf" constructing their lives.  No sireee, not meee.
Will the world give us back our SEX? Our Thanksgiving?  Our Christmas?  It's up to us.
There are a couple of things that I have written about this subject in a more polite tone.  If you click here and then click here you be able to enjoy them...maybe.
Now that they know how I feel about this Santa business, the way I treated my children and all that anyone will write about me?  
We know the answer to that one.  
On top of it all, I know that there will not be 4,111 comments to this screed.
Happy Jesus' birthday to you all, and to all a big smile...and don't forget that my favorite cookies are Oatmeal / Raisin.  
Also, I'm a neat freak, so clean the chimney flume, you've get less than a week.  And don't forget the fresh mistletoe and a nice new nightgown for the Missus.  Oh, BTW, lock the upstairs bedroom for crying out loud.  The low-hanging limbs over your roof are a hazard for Rudolph.  Do I have to call OSHA on you, for Pete's sake?  You'd think that you would have more respect for an old guy who has to circumnavigate the planet in all directions in one night.  If you can sell this crock of cockamamie hash, why aren't you a millionaire?  Then you could give me a pass.
Santa Claus! Sheeesh!  Why do parents perpetuate this LIE?
Yes, that means YOU.