BRITISH JOKE, KING OF D.C. SWAMP, CHINESE FLU ATTACK?

What is the best British joke that you know?

I personally don't have one.  I received this one today on the Internet.  It may or may not become your favorite.  As far as I am concerned, the jury is still out.

Donald Trump met with the Queen of England, and asked, "Your Majesty, how do you run such an efficient government? Is there any advice you can give me?"

"Well," replied the Queen, "the most important thing is to surround yourself with intelligent people."

Trump frowned and then asked, "But how do I know if the people around me are really smart?"

The Queen took a sip of tea. "Oh, that's easy; just ask them to answer a riddle."

The Queen pressed a button on her intercom. "Please send Boris Johnson here, will you?"

The Prime Minister entered the room and said, "Yes, Your Majesty?"

The Queen smiled and said, "Answer me this, if you don't mind, Boris. Your mother and father have a child. It is neither your brother nor sister. Who is it?"

Without the slightest hesitation, Boris replied: "That would be me."

"Yes! Very well," said the Queen.

Trump returned home to ask Mike Pence the same question. "Mike, answer this for me. Your mother and father have a child. It is neither your brother nor your sister. Who is it?"

"I'm not sure," said Pence. "Let me think about it and I'll tell you." He went to his advisers and asked everyone, but none could give him an answer.

Finally, Pence met his friend Jack Murphy at a restaurant the following night. Pence asked him, "Jack, can you answer this for me? Your mother and father have a child and it is neither your brother nor your sister. Who is it?"

Jack Murphy replied immediately, "That's easy, it's me!"

Pence smiled and said, "Thanks!"

Pence then spoke to Trump again. "Let's just say that I did some research and I have the answer to that riddle: it's my friend Jack Murphy!"

Trump got up, ran over to confront Pence and yelled angrily, "No, you idiot! It's Boris Johnson!"

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SNEAKY SNAKE SNOOKERED

You all know this famous French writer of extraordinary wit.

François-Marie Arouet, known by his nom de plume Voltaire, was a French Enlightenment writer, historian, and philosopher famous for his wit, his criticism of Christianity—especially the Roman Catholic Church—as well as his advocacy of freedom of speech, freedom of religion, and separation of church and state. Wikipedia

It is very possible that not all of you do know him because your cultural background did not point you in his direction.  Too bad because he was a real craker-jack smack-down artist.  This is one of his most well-known and one that never seems to lose neither its favor nor its flavor:

                                  L'autre jour, au fond d'un vallon,

                                            - Un serpent piqua Jean Fréron.

                                            - Que pensez-vous qu'il arriva ?

                                            - Ce fut le serpent qui creva.

I hereby give myself the privilege of offering you two versions of the same snide attitude straight out of the early 18th century --

 

The other day on the White House lawn,

A lurking viper bit The Don;

What do you suppose happened then?

The viper died, never to bite again.

I thought that was OK, but then this crept through the mental cracks.  You can choose the one you like.

As Trump walked to board his aero ride,

A slinky viper’s fang pierced Don’s hide.

You all can surmise what came of it;

‘Twas the viper who died from what he bit!

I'm open to your rendition.  I haven't tried it in Spanish.  Go ahead, give it a whirl.

(A tip of my hat to Voltaire)