I LOVE MY DOG -- YOU ILLEGALS, GO HOME WHERE YOU BELONG

No, this is not an awkward moment.  You can start disliking me or downright hating me as of now without feeling bad about it.

I do not think that dogs should hold the pre-eminent social acceptance that they do in this country.  This has been filling my craw since the vicious attack on the immigrant people in Murrieta, California, a short 18 miles from where I live and work.  I know and you know that there were people reviling the people on the bus.  Those on the bus were no doubt holding and protecting children.  Among those yelling and screaming insults were some who have dogs for which they care more than they do for fellow human beings.  Especially children!  Yuk! 
In fact, if they had to buy children, they wouldn't do it.  After all, children are silly humans who grow up to be idiotic humans who jump on buses after walking 1,000 miles to come here to steal our jobs.  Especially the ones that we don't want to do anyway.  It's much more consoling and humanly fulfilling to pay $500.00 for a good dog that will die after 10 years and make you mourn for a year that he died so young.  
...Yeah, and by the way, the dog never learned how to talk, never learned how to open the door, never learned how to use the toilet bowl, sweep the floor, wash or wipe the dishes and a few other trivial things like that.  Oooppsss, I forgot that the dog never really learned how make the bed.  I never did meet a dog who could learn how to take all 25 possible points of a pinochle hand, or seven no trump in bridge.  

Actually, I like dogs.  I prefer them barbecued, sauced and glazed with fiery pepper with a nice heavy local red wine at about 19 - 22% by volume.  Have to have nice steamed rice and stir fried bitter melon mixed with squash flowers and banana hearts.  Onions raw, on the side.  Yep, that's the way I like my dog.

The world would be better off without all these useless dogs and cats.  I have written a lot about how to solve some of the world's hunger problems.  Here's one sample from '07

Final thought:  Some of you say that you are pro-life.  I hate that term because it doesn't mean anything other than the life in the womb.  If you're an immigrant on a bus, you don't get to live better and neither does your young child because you're out of the womb now so I can make you suffer all I want...So long as I stay happy.  Hell, it's my body and I'll do what I want with it.  Besides, I want to save my river of tears for when FIDO dies.

So, you all, hate me enough so that you won't feel the need to come to my funeral.  Cry for your dog, not for me.